I've Got Warts - How Do I Tell Him?
If you've discovered that you have vaginal warts, it is your obligation to let any past and present partners know about your condition. Even if you haven't been with someone for months - or years - it is still possible for them to have contracted the virus from you when you were unaware that you had it.
While this is all understandable in theory, it is another thing to actual put this advice into practice. Many people will be horrified to find out that they have genital warts, and they will find it embarrassing to discuss it with a partner. This is particularly true if they need to get back in touch with an old partner. Here are suggestions for how to broach the subject of genital warts with your sexual partners.
Speak with Your Doctor
Before discussing your situation with your partner or partners, speak with your doctor. Your doctor can help you to understand exactly what type of genital warts you have, what your prognosis is and what your treatment will be. The doctor can give you talking points to tell your partner and can help you to understand what you should convey to your partner.
Do Some Research
You may want to do a little bit of research about genital warts on your own, or have information handy to give to your partner. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) is a good place to start for web research. The CDC will provide you with up to date information and will help you to become more educated about the virus. You may want to print out articles that you find interesting and share these with your partner. Print out statistics, prevention methods, treatment options and more. Anything that you find useful, your partner will probably appreciate as well.
Prepare the Environment to Talk
You should probably have this conversation in person with a present partner. If you need to tell a partner from your past, you may want to have that conversation over the phone, but any active partner of yours deserves to be told about the virus in person. Do so at an appropriate time and location. While you may be tempted to tell him during a basketball game, or when you are out at the movies, this will not allow for a discussion or for him to express any emotions he may have. Have the conversation in a quiet location where you can process the information and share what you have learned with him.
Prepare for a Reaction
It is not easy for a partner to be told that you have a contagious, sexually transmitted disease. He may react negatively by getting mad or upset. Don't be surprised by this, and allow him to vent his emotions and frustrations. Stay calm and try to work through these emotions together.
Discuss the Future
You and your partner should be open about discussing how to proceed with sex. Some people will discuss to avoid sex all together right now. Others will use methods of protection, but continue to engage in sexual activity. Support each other in this decision making process and listen to each other and your needs.
Think about how you would feel if your partner told you that he has genital warts. Consider how you would want to be told, where you would want to be told, and what you would want to discuss. This process will help you to prepare for your conversation with your partner.